TheFoothillsForum

- My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you believe that..... 2:30 am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.


- Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead." The operator says how do you know? He says "The sex is the same but the laundry is building up!"

- I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.


- My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

- A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.


- I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not listening."


- The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I went to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.

Fairy Tale:
>
> One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly,
> did not whine, nag, and bitch........
> But this was a long time ago.....
> and it was just ONE day.
>
> The End

Thirty days has September,
April, June and No Wonder,
All the rest have thirty-one.
Except for Grandma,
She drives a Buick.